Archive for the ‘Personal Relationships’ Category

Psychographer — what’s THAT?

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

 

If you look up “psychography,” you’ll find everything from studying personalities for marketing purposes to channeling the words of spirits through your own writing. I understand that marketers have used the term psychographics for years, along with demographics, etc.

 

I have brazenly adopted and adapted the word psychographer for the work I do in Four Windows. Psychographics, as seen through Four Windows, is applying the proven research and laws of psychology to real-life interaction – especially to work teams and to the customers they are supposed to serve.

 

I dream that one day mainstream dictionaries will include the following definition of psychographer: Psychographer. [sai ka’ grə fər] A personality analyst; a psychological advisor specializing in personality typing that enables the understanding of self and others, peak group performance, communication improvement, etc.

 

This is a science. The applied sciences of the last 50 years have demonstrated that commonly known truths about all people can help an average team move toward excellence. This research especially enables people to communicate respectfully and clearly.

 

The tools are simple to use. Some people are surprised to find out that formerly complex studies are now straightforwardly understandable tools for just about everybody – from top management types to field people who may not spend much time reading at all. Four Windows is such a set of tools.

 

More importantly, it turns out everybody can be a functional and successful user of this technology for everyday purposes. Psychography is all about resolving conflict, clearing the air, making friends, relieving stress, and getting on with life and business on smoother roadways instead of barrier-laden dusty paths.

 

At networking meetings, I’ve had a great deal of trouble trying to come up with an “elevator speech” — that 30-second presentation that hopefully demonstrates what one does in terms of the listener’s own needs. So now, the opening line is, “I’m a psychographer.” You gotta love it.

 

Here’s the 30-second infomercial: Hi, I’m Jack Dermody and I am a psychographer!! I help you answer questions like, “What do my customers need to hear so they will buy my product?” “How do I hire the right employees and vendors?” “Why can’t my people communicate?” “Why don’t my people understand me?” “How can I get my people to get along?”

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Orange people are stupid because…

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

One BIG problem with being any Color is that people of other Colors consider us wanting, less than perfect, and possibly stupid. I will talk about being a “stupid Orange person” in this blog entry.

 

I’ve already called ALL THREE other Colors stupid and saved Orange for last because, well, I have a hard time calling my Orange brethren “stupid.” The problem is that I’m one of those guys that wants to be reborn Orange. You guys have all the fun. You are usually not klutzy, You are skillful physically, daring, and victorious so much of the time. If you’re a guy, you get the girl – and vice-versa. Oranges, it’s tough following your act.

 

Yes, the other Colors find you hard to deal with. Blues think you cause too much conflict. Golds can judge you to be totally irresponsible. Greens believe you can’t think beyond what’s directly in front of you. But do we think you’re “stupid”? Now that’s hard – because above all else you Oranges tend to be cool. And being cool doesn’t go with “stupid,” now does it!

 

What we can probably all agree on is that rudeness is not uncommon for Oranges – and frequent rude impolite and insolent behavior can really, really look “stupid.” Rudeness from teenagers is to be expected, but from adults? It’s very hard to understand.

 

Ironically, you might not even think you’re being rude. You tell it like it is. You’ll say something like, “Was it you who recorded this CD? Oh, really? I don’t like it. I’d be embarrassed to put my name on it. If it were mine, I’d throw it away.” If called on this, you respond, “I’m just being straightforward and honest, so what’s your problem? You asked for my opinion and I gave it to you.”

 

Glad you asked. Our “problem” may sound like this, especially if you tend to be “straightforward and honest” day after day – with no letup. Blues will steer you away from people who require a diplomatic approach, or they may begin to avoid you altogether. Golds will feel their work is being disrespected and may even conclude that you put very little thought into your own work. Greens might actually use the word “stupid” to your face because your continual hasty negative responses will seem thoughtless, naïve, and non-productive.

 

So what to do? For us other Colors, we are blessed to get honest feedback and should be thankful rather than offended. On the other hand, if the Orange judgment seems hasty, thoughtless, and rude – well, then, we ought to speak up and ask for thoughtful information. Oranges are usually not offended when you want to have an honest discussion or even an energetic debate. The result can be surprising.

 

As for you Orange folks, well, take a look around. Are you finding more rejection now than ever before? Does it look like people are less and less likely to approach you? The solution is simple enough. Understand what the needs and values are of the other Colors. As an Orange, you are utilitarian by nature – you go for what WORKS! Find what works for your colleagues, friends, and family – then alter your behavior to get what you want. You’ll be surprised how a few changes in tone, language, and behavior will get you back in the fold sooner than you think!

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Green people are stupid because…

Monday, September 21st, 2009

One BIG problem with being any Color is that people of other Colors consider us wanting, less than perfect, and possibly stupid. I will talk about being a “stupid Green person” in this blog entry.

 

Hey there, Green people, the word “stupid” is not often applied to our rational Green population, is it? So what’s the word “stupid” doing here in this blog entry? I doubt that many people see your reasoning as “stupid”, but you can be sure some of your business and social interaction with people of other Colors just might look “less than intelligent.”

 

I personally look upon upcoming meetings with Green bosses and leaders with some trepidation. The greeting at their office door often sounds exactly like this: “Who are you?” “What’s this about?” and “How long is this going to take?” What seems “stupid” here is an apparent lack of social skills, disrespect for others, and just plain bad manners.

 

Granted, you Green folk operate in an intense atmosphere with unforgiving deadlines, numerous complex projects, and a dire need for efficiency. Time is not just money for you. It is almost everything. Niceties like social banter, expressions of emotion, and even business protocol take second fiddle to your projects and your time.

 

In my experience, Greens who act this way are often quite unaware of the effect they have on the people who work around them. Most of the time, other Green colleagues speak and act in the same manner and so do not see the concise and straightforward language as “stupid”. Blues, however, interpret such language as negative, causing conflict, and leaving little room for important discussion of any length. Golds see barriers of arrogance, superiority, and disrespect for others’ roles and timetables. Oranges can’t help but feel they are in the presence of a know-it-all; this “sage” may not be a person they can depend on to work with others and take real action when it’s time to do so. So, for Greens, what these other Colors would call their “stupidity” would not have anything to do with a lack of knowledge or competence; instead they are alarmed at the “stupidity” of unawareness of others’ needs, values, and stressors.

 

I think Greens, of all the Colors, have the hardest time adjusting their behavior to improve their approachability. In many of my seminars, it is clear that Green folks do understand what to do to build better bridges with others, but Greens demonstrate they struggle to put this knowledge into action. For example, to get true buy-in from Blues and Golds, it’s important to pro-actively and energetically participate in what seems like lengthy meetings. This is in stark contrast to Green-on-Green meetings which sometimes tend to begin and end before either party can pass through a doorway and sit in a chair. And they conclude with: “Send me an email. I’ll get back to you.”

 

When it comes to working with a team, other people’s values mean a lot. Taking time for a little social interaction and open-ended discussion (not always on point) are tasks and events that are every bit as important as the completion of a drafted stratagem. Social interaction can be uncomfortable – but so can drilling holes in steel to accommodate rivets, and it’s a step that can’t be skipped.

 

To those of us who are not Greens, our successful relationships with them and our understanding of them will grow geometrically if we approach them with full knowledge that they start out wanting to respect us and work with us. When we show up at their door with questions or information, is it clear that we have done serious homework? Can we express our ideas clearly and concisely? Are we willing to stay on point?

 

Now here is one last tip for working with Greens. They have very strong stomachs and big shoulders when it comes to dealing with conflict. If you feel that you are not getting the respect and audience you deserve from them, say so. Be ready to explain why. You will be surprised at their accommodating responses. Unlike the rest of us, Greens are not known to lose sleep over personality issues; on the other hand, they will think and act quickly on information of a personal nature that clearly effects the completion of projects and the quality of productive teamwork.

 

 

 

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Gold people are stupid because…

Friday, September 18th, 2009

 

 

One BIG problem with being any Color is that people of other Colors consider us wanting, less than perfect, and possibly stupid. I will talk about being a “stupid Gold person” in this blog entry.

 

Hey there, Gold folks, do you notice people tune you out when you start explaining things? You might wonder, “Isn’t what I’m saying coming off as important to this person?”

 

The problem is that Gold people tend to overdo on details, repeat ideas more than necessary, and treat all points – whether big or small – as equal.

 

What you might not be noticing is that people of the other Colors “think you are stupid” because they figured where you were going in the first 50 words you uttered – and would rather not submit themselves to a spoon feeding of all processes that lead to a conclusion.

 

People don’t realize how important it is to Gold folks that a responsible job of any kind means caring about the small things as well as the large things…and being recognized for that painstaking care is nearly as important. It goes back to “a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.” Gold folks do not want weak links of any size.

 

To the other Colors, then, what is our objection to the “stupid over-the-top over-processing” that we witness when we get to deal with Gold folks? The answer is that the problem is with us ourselves – we are not as patient as they. What they do is unpleasant for us under most circumstances. On the other hand, just imagine a world without people who cared so very greatly about doing the right thing at all levels!!  You know that chaos would reign.

 

So what to do? Besides being patient, we can control how much processing we have to sit through. As a boss, we can ask a Gold employee to put long lists of details into e-mail attachments. We can schedule short meetings that require information to be delivered concisely. But most of all, we can show our gratitude to our Gold employees, friends, bosses, etc. who – YOU KNOW – have put a great deal of work and thought into their “stupid” reports, plans, and presentations.

 

And Gold folks – yes YOU – with awareness that all the other Colors can be impatient with your report or presentation, what can you do to make sure your audience will listen? The answer is to continue to be you, to be complete, to be responsible, etc. However, consider how to make the presentation. Notice that magazines deliver information with bullet points, succinct headlines, and references to web links, etc. for readers who want more information. Your presentations will also be more attractive if you tune into individuals’ preferred communication styles (email? One-one-one meetings? Staff meetings? Standard reports? Quick briefings in the hallway?). Finally, accept that everyone has a full plate of activity, so carefully honor timeframes. If you need to be certain that your information needs to be fully understood and signed-off on, then provide the most efficient check system that you can get away with, e.g., a simple check list, little blanks for initials, deadlines, etc. It’s really not that hard to move from a “stupid” image to a SMART one!!!

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Blue people are stupid because…

Monday, September 14th, 2009

One BIG problem with being any Color is that people of other Colors consider us wanting, less than perfect, and possibly stupid. I will talk about being a “stupid Blue person” in this blog entry.

 

I remember being called stupid when I defended ancient religions for building ginormously expensive, artful religious buildings. Gold people insisted the expense of building cathedrals and temples in the face of mass poverty was “stupid” for draining treasuries that could have supported both government and society in general. Green folks saw the stupidity in the face of lesser attention being paid to scientific innovation and overall infrastructure such as sewers and roads. Orange folks actually liked the buildings because of the intense artistic expression.

 

Many Blue people love the spiritual effect of the massive buildings that lift both eyes and spirits upward. To Blues, there are pathways far more fulfilling, uplifting, and soul-satisfying than day-to-day labors and challenges. Scratch a Blue person and they will often admit they prefer spirituality over fixing a water spout. What better than columns, statues, artwork, colors, mystery-bearing colored glass, whiffs of exotic incense, the magic of flickering candles, the sounds of chants echoing through chambers, the tinkling of bells large and small, the offering of gifts – whether prayers, money, or agricultural goods.

 

Today, you can read headlines every day about people who protest art projects, or the expense of a building that costs a few more dollars because someone wants an arched passageway instead of a metal security door. Have you noticed that nearly all public schools are designed to replicate windowless prisons – with zero landscaping and purely utilitarian signage. To Blue people, the message is nothing less than that of a soulless culture, a “stupid” culture. Are Blue people stupid for insisting on harmony and beauty over the simply practical?

 

So are we Blue people stupid? Not practical? Having no appreciation for the value of money? Unrealistic? Heads in the clouds? Ah, but we don’t think so. So – the rest of you, of OTHER Colors – what would your world be like without the Blue humans? Are YOU stupid for not appreciating us?

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Mad Men on AMC Portrays Archtypical Creative Personalities

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Are you a fan of the Mad Men series on AMC? What will compel you are their personality types.

 

DON – Makes sense of chaos like no other. Introverted Green-Orange (Rational Architect)?

 

BETTY – Is perfectly utilitarian and concrete with few soft edges. Introverted Orange-Green (Artisan Crafter)?

PEGGY – Takes on sex, drugs, and the glass ceiling like they were still part of a school curriculum… Answers the question: How does a highly intelligent Gold person (Guardian) act when she decides to operate out of the box?  Introverted Gold-Green (Guardian Inspector)?

 

JOAN – Solves problems and smoothly handles all kinds of people — like a magician.  Extraverted Orange-Blue (Artisan Performer)?

PETE – Like a young Nixon, having tragic need to be the boss, to have right answers, to make change, to have others conform; no friends, lots of enemies.  Extraverted Gold-Green (Guardian-Supervisor)?

 

ROGER – Can only respond to what is directly in front of him — smart and foolish.  Extraverted Orange-Green (Artisan Promoter)? 

 

Mad Men, as you know, is about people in advertising. So it’s no surprise that the firm is cram-packed with creative Green and Orange personalities. And it’s no surprise that the people who distract us from the dynamism of endless idea craziness are two people of one personality type with natures a bit alien to the advertising industry. Gold Peggy seeks respect for her place in the hierarchy and for her gender; she even demands participation in the boys’ sinful pleasures, although sinful pleasures are often uncomfortable and conflicting to her Gold nature. Gold Pete would like to be respected for his natural administrative skills, but the silver spoon that purchased his position in the company and his overly judgmental nature continuously sabotage any effort for him to get real respect from his colleagues.

 

In the real world of advertising, Peggy and Pete could eventually be eaten for lunch or come to some kind of tragic end. Don, Betty, Joan, and Roger are Schmoos – they will end up standing up no matter how many times you hit them. If people try to get rid of them, they won’t disappear gently.

 

 

 

 

 

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Employees from Hell: Two Sure-Fire Ways to Deal With Them

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

In your mind, employees “from hell” can be poisoning your world and putting your business at risk. If it turns out they are not evil, dim-witted, or insane, then you may have a great shot at dealing with them.

ANSWER #1. You might be the problem. Let’s face it, you might not be judging them fairly. I remember an employee I’ll call Bob, for example.

Bob was a negative guy. Nobody around him followed the rules well enough and he complained constantly. He sent e-mails about rule infractions to the highest levels in the company, added a few voice mails, and sang the same song in public meetings.

For me, Bob was a pain – rigid, judgmental, bossy, uptight, and just plain mean. I got a stomach ache whenever he came around.

Now Bob had a Gold personality style. Golds care about rules, stability, responsibility, and doing the right thing. One day it dawned on me that Bob’s motives might be pure and, to him, correct in every way.

He did not mean to hurt people or poison the atmosphere. In fact, he just wanted to work in a place where he could trust and depend on others. To Bob, breaking rules was a form of lying, destroying trust, and making him nervous about loyalty. He demanded high standards for himself and projected that onto his coworkers.

So what’s the ah-hah moment here? Don’t judge right away. Look to the positive motivations behind a person’s frustrating behavior. Look for what’s strong and good about the person underneath. Wouldn’t you want others to do the same for you?

ANSWER #2. Identify the “problem” and coach the employee. Yeah, looking for the “good” in everybody is fine but you’re probably thinking I’m living in Lah-Lah Land, right? Come on now – Bob is still a pain, and those “coworkers” avoided him like the plague.

And that’s correct. People think he’s a jerk. So what do you?

You have business reasons to confront the employee. People don’t feel good around Bob. They don’t go near him. Some jobs might not be getting done. Some people are not communicating well. That’s hurting business.

Invite the employee in for a private meeting. Tell him what the meeting is about. Show respect by acknowledging what the employee cares about. When the person is Gold, especially acknowledge him for his responsibility and hard work.

Talk next about your own responsibilities to the company and to all the employees. You need harmony, good communication, high energy and – most of all – high production. Tell the employee these goals are in trouble.

Ask for the employee’s help. Bob, for example, is not wrong about the rule infractions he is witnessing. Tell him what’s wrong is that the employees see him as a cop instead of a coworker and that gets in the way of teamwork. Ask Bob’s help to curb his public complaints and, instead, make them private. For more serious problems – theft for example – go to the company officer who can do something about it. Again, if you’re dealing with a Gold person, you have an employee who respects the company chain of command.

Appeal to the employee’s strengths. Returning to Bob, ask him to be responsible for himself most of all, to focus on what he can control himself, and to concern himself with other people’s business when it’s very, very important. Finally, Bob surely wants to be part of a functioning team, so encourage him to lighten up, stop obsessing on past actions, and position himself as the responsible and respected leader that he probably aspires to be.

Every single one of your employees wants respect. So find out what their true values are. Change how you talk to them so they see you are tuned into their strengths, needs, and values. Finally, ask them to do the same thing: find out about the values of fellow employees. Change their language and actions so that others be able to tune into the message because it feels respectful and demonstrates understanding.

Do YOU have employees-from-hell stories to share? If so, please comment on this blog entry. And thank you.

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