Archive for the ‘Personal Development’ Category

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How To Guess Your Prospect’s Personality Type

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

At lunch today my friend Dave said, “You know, you temperament gurus never tell us how to quickly assess the personality of our prospects.”

Well, I’m not one of those “other guys,” so I am revealing some hints to you below. As a disclaimer, however, I need to tell you that you might want to call me for some training so that you will have the competence to be an accurate and competent assessor of personality styles.

1. IDEALIST BLUES (15% of prospects)

a. Usually very approachable

b. Easy to talk to

c. Soft in their body language, relaxed

d. Friendly

e. Easy eye contact

f. Not usually wanting to get to bottom line

g. Welcoming small talk and social banter

 

2. GUARDIAN GOLDS (45% of prospects)

a. Usually very serious

b. Will want to process a single idea at length – longer than other Colors

c. Will ask many questions beginning with the word “but…”

d. Don’t like vagueness of any kind

e. Expect very concrete and clear answers

f. Very patient with details and will take as long as is required to get through them, and will demand that you be the same way

g. Don’t like a lot of surprises or too many alternatives fired at them at the same time

 

3. ARTISAN ORANGES (30% of prospects)

a. Usually don’t want to sit

b. Like to move around

c. Want bottom line immediately

d. May tell you exactly what they want from the outset

e. May tell you they want to decide quickly

f. Fierce negotiators, will fight for what they want

 

4. RATIONAL GREENS (10% of prospects)

a. Cool and calm, often emotionless

b. Will ask, “Who are you, what do you want, and how long will this take?”

c. Quickly want to see the research

d. Will turn off if you don’t have well researched answers

e. Can know more about the product than you do

f. Will turn off to emotional or subjective pitches.

Now the above lists are a down-and-dirty bird’s-eye view of assessing Colors. Here’s another secret: you will still find yourself in the right ballpark if you feel comfortable that you have guessed at least two dominant Colors. Speak to both Colors and watch your prospects’ interest rise in front of your eyes.

Also, sometimes you have zero time to make any assessments, so what to do? The answers is simple: Speak and write in all four colors. That is, cover the whole water front. Smarter yet, show up at the client’s venue with a team of folks representing the various Colors, then pass the ball to “personality type” who can best answer the questions coming at you. Pretty smart, huh?

I can promise. I can guarantee that once you get your ducks in a row with your Color-designed pitches, you will have fun, additional successful closes, and increased raving fans.

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Sales Professionals – Strengths and Weaknesses

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Just finished a brief workshop with Arizona Sales Professionals at their monthly meeting in Scottsdale, Arizona.

One of my handouts contained the folllowing brief overview of strengths and weaknesses of sales pros, based on temperament, i.e., on the Colors of Four Windows.

Idealist Blue sales strengths include the personal touch, easy appropachability, and they are great listeners and customer-support people. Weaknesses are they can be less competitive, have trouble saying no, and may not demand a signature when the customer has already agreed to buy.

Guardian Gold sales strengths include being well prepared, willing to do all homework necessary, and are patient with lengthy processing that many customers demand. Weaknesses include too much detail-orientation, over-seriousness, and may wear a customer down with too much information and processing.

Rational Green sales strengths encompass knowing the science behind the product, a willingness to do research for the customer, and the ability to satisfy the most discriminating customers. Weaknesses appear as apparent impatience, a disregard for small talk to the point of seeming cold and distant, and some Greens tend to talk over the customer’s head.

Artisan Orange sales strengths show high marks for negotiation and closing skills, quick tactical thinking, and a drive to compete and win. Weaknesses are Oranges can seem too intensely hard-sell, manipulative, as well as not serious enough or knowledgeable enough.

In the upper righthand corner of this blogsite, you can order and own a complete primer on Four Windows temperament styles. Click on “Buy the Four Colors E-Book”. This life-changing resource book can be saved and read on the computer or printed out for pennies. You will figure people out like never before and communicate with them masterfully. Even better, you will understand yourself more and help others to understand you as well.

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What’s a better focus — peace or harmony?

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

I got some good comments about blog entry “You Are World Peace.” The point was that we have the opportunity to create peace in all of one’s personal interactions in each moment of each day.

But, if you think about it, peace is the result. Creating harmony is the process. Peace happens. Harmony requires work.

The word harmony is a musical term, and music is probably a best example of the work involved with making harmony. When two musicians improvise together, every note played is the result of a decision every single second to sound harmonic with each other. The result is something wonderful to listen to. If there is no effort harmonize, the result would be far less than wonderful.

I get to play music with lots of people. Sometimes it feels like a lot of work to make a piece sound good; other times, it’s just plain fun. And most of the time the audience members say they are entertained or otherwise moved.

So how different is the real world from making music? It must be a lot different because traps of negative interaction are really easy to fall into. Some people love conflict. A few people claim to love a good fight — and lots of good fights sometimes.

My own Idealist (Blue) personality style loathes conflict of most varieties. When it exists, I choose to either help resolve it or I may opt to run away from it. And even though I understand Blue people are the biggest harmony seekers of all four Colors, I don’t understand why all Colors should not be equally committed to working at creating harmony when life delivers each opportunity to be harmonic.

Harmony-seeking Gold people will achieve peaceful organization all around themselves. Greens will have the resources to peacefully fill their arsenals with knowledge and creativity. Oranges will be peacefully released from society’s vice-principals to be more energetic and free. We Blues will bissfully follow more paths and more readily affect harmonic change everywhere.

A culture of seeking harmony cannot possibly train people to crash jets into skyscrapers. A nation’s Congress would not become selfish and ineffective by wallowing in immovable partisanship. Bosses and parents would not micromanage the people who must obey them. Couples would look for strengths behind annoyances. We would all learn to choose our words actions better.

Harmony is the work, the process. Peace is the result.

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You Are World Peace

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

Do you get a headache watching news about world conflict every single day? Can you even imagine the horror of trying to be an effective world leader these days?

The solution for the rest of us is right in front of us. We have the option of resolving our own conflicts right here, right now. We can do that with our lovers, our children, our colleagues, and strangers.

It’s the Butterfly Effect, i.e., a single butterfly flaps his wings and thereby has a small role incontributing to the creation of a hurricane on the other side of the world.

Our own efforts to make peace with everyone immediately around could very well have some effect in Lebanon or China or Ecuador.

With the tools and skills we get from the study of personality typing, we make the changes we want to see all around the world. For example, my ex-wife has been phoning with endless stories of the processes she is going through to cure her overly sensative intestinal system. When we were married, I had no patience for litanies of woes. I’ve discovered that this woman with such a clear Gold temperament is giving me now — again — an opportunity to make peace with her and all Gold people by being the listener she needs, the validator of her needs and values.

We often don’t recognize that our own values that we are born with may be inadvertently causing others stress — not only here and now, but all over the world in some kind of mysterious chain reaction. What I need to do — what we all need to do — is recognize what part of our natural type is causing conflict or reducing conflct. This recognition has to be deliberate. It requires that we step back and watch ourselves act and speak — and then edit what we say and do for world peace.

We don’t have megabucks. We don’t have powerful positions. But we have our own megapower every single time we do something or say something.

We are indeed World Peace.

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NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS GUARANTEED TO SUCCEED

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

  

The problem with New Year’s resolutions is that we try to change our life by making difficult changes.

 

Forget about those. Remember all the C’s you got in some subject back in school? Life is like school. There are certain things we get C’s in – no matter how hard we try.

 

For example, let’s say you really suck at playing the piano. In the past, you might make a New Years resolution to take more piano lessons and practice at least two hours every day. And you know down deep in your heart that you are never going to be a good piano player.

 

So, what to do? It’s easy. Get more A’s in the things that you get A’s in.

 

No, I’m not kidding. Let’s say you are really good at something – like planning parties and entertaining guests.

 

So here’s the deal. Make a resolution to be even hotter at something that you love doing. As a party planner and entertainer, why not raise the bar on your party productions? Cook better food? Wow the guests with more interesting people that you invite? Provide unforgettable live music? You KNOW what I’m talking about.

 

Too often in life, we are trying to make up for our past weaknesses, or we are trying to accomplish something so difficult that the reform effort actually interferes with what are born to do.

 

Okay, okay – you’re probably saying you that you really do want to be more physically fit this year? Or you want to save more money? Or pay more attention to your family? Fine, but then again I have to ask you, “What is possible, practical, achievable, and potentially very successful?”

 

Here’s the answer. What “difficult” thing can you get A’s in? What tasks can you accomplish that will likely NOT earn you a C?

 

You know what those are. For example, instead of resolving in 2010 to save a million dollars, why not try to save a hundred dollars this week? Now that is possible, practical, achievable, and potentially very successful. Now there is an A in the making!

 

Back to my original thesis. Shouldn’t we do what we are good at and then get better at it? Isn’t doing what we suck at just beating a dead horse? Why waste time with that stuff?

 

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Does Your Gift Fit the Receiver’s Personality?

Monday, December 14th, 2009

TODAY’S TOPIC: The Golden Rule is not a good rule for gift-giving

That’s right, the Golden Rule is not a good rule for gift-giving. If we gave people only gifts that  we wanted for ourselves, where would there be joy? Husbands giving vanity jock straps to wives? Wives giving lotions and potions to husbands?

The right rule is the Platinum Rule, i.e., give them what THEY want. Such gifts are indeed a gift of LOVE because the giver may not “get” the value of the gift, may not “feel” the beauty of the gift, and may even think it’s a complete waste of time and money. Take a tatoo, for example. If you are one of those people who recoil with horror and the very idea of a tatoo, you are delivering a gift of profound love when you take your loved one and waltz into a tatoo parlor and shell out seven hundred dollars for a permanent intricate full-color portrayal of a bleeding vampire victim on the bare chest of this love of your life. Such is love. Such is Platinum Gifting.

I called a few of my friends and asked for wish lists for Christmas. Here’s what they listed:

My Blue friend Maria says she’ll be happy with a relaxation CD, a massage, live flowers, a seminar, books and tapes, a spiritual retreat, a massage, an original card or poem, healing aromatherapy items, theater, comedy, or concert tickets, a Vegan dinner and night out, an exotic dictionary, or gifts for her kids and her favorite charities.

My Gold friend Janet wants a gold pendant, pearl earrings,  a dress for a formal dinner, scrapbooking supplies, an elegant picture frame, Sees candy, a new energy-saving refrigerator, silverware nice enough to bequeath to a daughter, a gift certificate to Macy’s, software for electronic planning, a Julia Child cookbook, a deluxe Scrabble set, and membership in a California wine club.

My Orange wife Rose likes fun, surprises, and stuff for the family. On her list would be a spontaneous trip to Flagstaff or any beach city in the world, a spectacular bouquet of flowers, a return to Europe, tickets to a concert or major finals event in sports, tickets for all grandchildren to accompany her to museums and zoos and parks and theme parks, a really fun party with family and friends, an elegant dinner, sexy art for the house, state-of-the-art kitchen appliances,and — oh yes, a fully remodeled kitchen.

Green friends are hard to shop for, but I think I know just what George would like. First of all, this guy loves techie gadgets. He’d be happy with an upgrade to a Blackberry phone, a Kindle from Amazon.com, a GPS attached to anything that moves, a universal remote that worked the TV, refrigerator, garage door, and lighting system throughout the house. Ironically, his “geeky” hobbies are about as non-techie as you could imagine. He plays a ukulele, roots for an obscure softball team, remodels Nashes, and is a collector of home-made crystal radio sets. It takes great research to come up with “new” gifts to feed into the hobbies, but the search is always worth it. You should have seen his face when he got an original gear-shift head from a 1949 Nash.

Happy shopping, people!!! Even though you might now share a love of the gift, you will FEEL and ENJOY the love of your giftee!!

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WORKING A ROOM PSYCHOGRAPHICALLY

Monday, October 26th, 2009

 

What if all strangers at a national conference wore Bourbon-Street-style beads flaunting their first Color? Before your eyes, an individual had on an identity necklace — Green, Orange, Blue, or Gold. Bear with me on this, folks. I get my workshop participants to do this all the time.

 

Your first encounter is with Ms. Jones with a Green necklace. You’re thinking, okay, Ms. Jones is probably proud as heck that she’s a true expert in something and she likely hopes that YOU are a very interesting expert in whatever you do too. You know what not to do –  do not get too touchy feely with personal information. She thrives on knowledge, competence and rationality. So what’s your opening line? How about, “Hi, I’m Jack. I just got to hear So-and-so talk about some intimidating research. Can I ask you what you are finding most interesting about this event?”

 

Mr. Smith with Gold beads is your next contact. Of course he will likely be a pretty serious dude – caring that your role at the conference is productive and he hopes that you will get on board with sound policies if they are discussed. You know to avoid overly general ideas and too much out-of-the-box thinking until you get to know the person better. Mr. Smith is all about duty and responsibility. A good opening line might be, “Today I was able to set up my workshop schedule in a matter of seconds. I haven’t had to ask a single person for directions. Is this thing well organized or what! What’s your impression?”

 

Moving on to Mary Clinton with a Blue necklace, you expect “touchy-feely” to be okay with her. Bottom line, she is an idealist and will likely be hugely interested in harmonic relationships – whether between two ordinary human beings or between nations on a pathway to lasting peace. You avoid conversation that is strictly business with Mary because she will be looking for a window to establish some kind of personal relationship with you. Be prepared for a conversation that may involve a large gamut from pets and children to world peace itself. Looking at her name badge, you might make your opening line, “Hello, Mary, I see you’re from Warrenton, Missouri. Believe it or not, I lived near there for three years a long time ago.  Can you still board the train to St. Louis there?”

 

Next, Bob Nelson has Orange beads on. The odds are good he likes action of many kinds. He is a free-agent in life, loves his freedom to move about, will take risks, will negotiate masterfully, and will be the most likely to want to have fun. You do not want to discuss anything in painstaking detail because he will be bored quickly, and especially do not hand him anything to read. Orange Bob will want you to get to any point quickly and won’t need much sugar-coating or schmoozing. And Bob likes options – so selling him on one idea might not work. An opening line? Try something like, “I’m Jack. So far it’s been all work and no play today. I see you don’t have a drink yet. Can I get you one?”

 

So how do you create opening lines when your new friends aren’t wearing “their Colors”? That’s a subject for another blog entry, but here are a few hints: Extraverts are easier to read than introverts. And there are some questions that will reveal temperament preferences quickly. For example, “I think I’m going to volunteer to help plan the next conference. If you could plan one like this, what would you do differently?” This question will often net a full list – a treasure chest of the values and needs of a particular temperament.

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Psychographer — what’s THAT?

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

 

If you look up “psychography,” you’ll find everything from studying personalities for marketing purposes to channeling the words of spirits through your own writing. I understand that marketers have used the term psychographics for years, along with demographics, etc.

 

I have brazenly adopted and adapted the word psychographer for the work I do in Four Windows. Psychographics, as seen through Four Windows, is applying the proven research and laws of psychology to real-life interaction – especially to work teams and to the customers they are supposed to serve.

 

I dream that one day mainstream dictionaries will include the following definition of psychographer: Psychographer. [sai ka’ grə fər] A personality analyst; a psychological advisor specializing in personality typing that enables the understanding of self and others, peak group performance, communication improvement, etc.

 

This is a science. The applied sciences of the last 50 years have demonstrated that commonly known truths about all people can help an average team move toward excellence. This research especially enables people to communicate respectfully and clearly.

 

The tools are simple to use. Some people are surprised to find out that formerly complex studies are now straightforwardly understandable tools for just about everybody – from top management types to field people who may not spend much time reading at all. Four Windows is such a set of tools.

 

More importantly, it turns out everybody can be a functional and successful user of this technology for everyday purposes. Psychography is all about resolving conflict, clearing the air, making friends, relieving stress, and getting on with life and business on smoother roadways instead of barrier-laden dusty paths.

 

At networking meetings, I’ve had a great deal of trouble trying to come up with an “elevator speech” — that 30-second presentation that hopefully demonstrates what one does in terms of the listener’s own needs. So now, the opening line is, “I’m a psychographer.” You gotta love it.

 

Here’s the 30-second infomercial: Hi, I’m Jack Dermody and I am a psychographer!! I help you answer questions like, “What do my customers need to hear so they will buy my product?” “How do I hire the right employees and vendors?” “Why can’t my people communicate?” “Why don’t my people understand me?” “How can I get my people to get along?”

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Orange people are stupid because…

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

One BIG problem with being any Color is that people of other Colors consider us wanting, less than perfect, and possibly stupid. I will talk about being a “stupid Orange person” in this blog entry.

 

I’ve already called ALL THREE other Colors stupid and saved Orange for last because, well, I have a hard time calling my Orange brethren “stupid.” The problem is that I’m one of those guys that wants to be reborn Orange. You guys have all the fun. You are usually not klutzy, You are skillful physically, daring, and victorious so much of the time. If you’re a guy, you get the girl – and vice-versa. Oranges, it’s tough following your act.

 

Yes, the other Colors find you hard to deal with. Blues think you cause too much conflict. Golds can judge you to be totally irresponsible. Greens believe you can’t think beyond what’s directly in front of you. But do we think you’re “stupid”? Now that’s hard – because above all else you Oranges tend to be cool. And being cool doesn’t go with “stupid,” now does it!

 

What we can probably all agree on is that rudeness is not uncommon for Oranges – and frequent rude impolite and insolent behavior can really, really look “stupid.” Rudeness from teenagers is to be expected, but from adults? It’s very hard to understand.

 

Ironically, you might not even think you’re being rude. You tell it like it is. You’ll say something like, “Was it you who recorded this CD? Oh, really? I don’t like it. I’d be embarrassed to put my name on it. If it were mine, I’d throw it away.” If called on this, you respond, “I’m just being straightforward and honest, so what’s your problem? You asked for my opinion and I gave it to you.”

 

Glad you asked. Our “problem” may sound like this, especially if you tend to be “straightforward and honest” day after day – with no letup. Blues will steer you away from people who require a diplomatic approach, or they may begin to avoid you altogether. Golds will feel their work is being disrespected and may even conclude that you put very little thought into your own work. Greens might actually use the word “stupid” to your face because your continual hasty negative responses will seem thoughtless, naïve, and non-productive.

 

So what to do? For us other Colors, we are blessed to get honest feedback and should be thankful rather than offended. On the other hand, if the Orange judgment seems hasty, thoughtless, and rude – well, then, we ought to speak up and ask for thoughtful information. Oranges are usually not offended when you want to have an honest discussion or even an energetic debate. The result can be surprising.

 

As for you Orange folks, well, take a look around. Are you finding more rejection now than ever before? Does it look like people are less and less likely to approach you? The solution is simple enough. Understand what the needs and values are of the other Colors. As an Orange, you are utilitarian by nature – you go for what WORKS! Find what works for your colleagues, friends, and family – then alter your behavior to get what you want. You’ll be surprised how a few changes in tone, language, and behavior will get you back in the fold sooner than you think!

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Green people are stupid because…

Monday, September 21st, 2009

One BIG problem with being any Color is that people of other Colors consider us wanting, less than perfect, and possibly stupid. I will talk about being a “stupid Green person” in this blog entry.

 

Hey there, Green people, the word “stupid” is not often applied to our rational Green population, is it? So what’s the word “stupid” doing here in this blog entry? I doubt that many people see your reasoning as “stupid”, but you can be sure some of your business and social interaction with people of other Colors just might look “less than intelligent.”

 

I personally look upon upcoming meetings with Green bosses and leaders with some trepidation. The greeting at their office door often sounds exactly like this: “Who are you?” “What’s this about?” and “How long is this going to take?” What seems “stupid” here is an apparent lack of social skills, disrespect for others, and just plain bad manners.

 

Granted, you Green folk operate in an intense atmosphere with unforgiving deadlines, numerous complex projects, and a dire need for efficiency. Time is not just money for you. It is almost everything. Niceties like social banter, expressions of emotion, and even business protocol take second fiddle to your projects and your time.

 

In my experience, Greens who act this way are often quite unaware of the effect they have on the people who work around them. Most of the time, other Green colleagues speak and act in the same manner and so do not see the concise and straightforward language as “stupid”. Blues, however, interpret such language as negative, causing conflict, and leaving little room for important discussion of any length. Golds see barriers of arrogance, superiority, and disrespect for others’ roles and timetables. Oranges can’t help but feel they are in the presence of a know-it-all; this “sage” may not be a person they can depend on to work with others and take real action when it’s time to do so. So, for Greens, what these other Colors would call their “stupidity” would not have anything to do with a lack of knowledge or competence; instead they are alarmed at the “stupidity” of unawareness of others’ needs, values, and stressors.

 

I think Greens, of all the Colors, have the hardest time adjusting their behavior to improve their approachability. In many of my seminars, it is clear that Green folks do understand what to do to build better bridges with others, but Greens demonstrate they struggle to put this knowledge into action. For example, to get true buy-in from Blues and Golds, it’s important to pro-actively and energetically participate in what seems like lengthy meetings. This is in stark contrast to Green-on-Green meetings which sometimes tend to begin and end before either party can pass through a doorway and sit in a chair. And they conclude with: “Send me an email. I’ll get back to you.”

 

When it comes to working with a team, other people’s values mean a lot. Taking time for a little social interaction and open-ended discussion (not always on point) are tasks and events that are every bit as important as the completion of a drafted stratagem. Social interaction can be uncomfortable – but so can drilling holes in steel to accommodate rivets, and it’s a step that can’t be skipped.

 

To those of us who are not Greens, our successful relationships with them and our understanding of them will grow geometrically if we approach them with full knowledge that they start out wanting to respect us and work with us. When we show up at their door with questions or information, is it clear that we have done serious homework? Can we express our ideas clearly and concisely? Are we willing to stay on point?

 

Now here is one last tip for working with Greens. They have very strong stomachs and big shoulders when it comes to dealing with conflict. If you feel that you are not getting the respect and audience you deserve from them, say so. Be ready to explain why. You will be surprised at their accommodating responses. Unlike the rest of us, Greens are not known to lose sleep over personality issues; on the other hand, they will think and act quickly on information of a personal nature that clearly effects the completion of projects and the quality of productive teamwork.

 

 

 

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