Tiger Woods could end up being a champion family man, if he acts as smartly now as he does on the golf course.

 

A lot of people celebrating 50^th wedding anniversaries have survived a few affairs.

 

Looking back over my life, I have to wonder if nature is the natural enemy of wedding vows. After all, we are all biologically programmed to have sex with just about anybody at any time – as programmed as we are to have to eat when we are hungry.

 

And we are also emotionally programmed to feel resentment and jealousy when our partner strays – even when a relationship is new and a long way from marriage commitments.

 

We are intellectually programmed to try to resolve conflicts, yet this programming appears to be weaker than the other two – and will lose out to amphibian lust and violence.

 

That’s why I think we need to go for help when our previous relationships and our families are threatened by sex outside the marriage. I think couples need help to the same degree that alcoholics need AA.

 

It doesn’t help when one partner insists outside sex is “no threat” to the primary relationship. And it also doesn’t help when the wounded partner hides behind the legality of the marriage vows – as if the sinner stole money from bank with a gun.

 

In a nutshell, if both parties find that the core relationship is worthwhile and worth saving, then a process of rebuilding is in order. Think about it. Nations murder millions of people in neighboring nations but, only a few years after such nightmarish encounters, end up as the best of allies. Teenage children inflict unpardonable havoc on themselves and their families, yet parents protect and help them out of love and commitment.

 

You will note that I have not used the word forgiveness even once. That’s because two people will rarely give the same definition of the word, depending on circumstances. What I am advocating, however, is the use of our natural intellects to resolve conflict, to get the help of experienced smart people, and to build great families that can withstand all of the storms that life will bring them.

 

Tiger Woods is no amphibian. His wife and children are not little lizards. I’m hoping for the best for all of them.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 at 8:20 pm and is filed under Famous People, Personal Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.