TODAY’S TOPIC: The Golden Rule is not a good rule for gift-giving
That’s right, the Golden Rule is not a good rule for gift-giving. If we gave people only gifts that we wanted for ourselves, where would there be joy? Husbands giving vanity jock straps to wives? Wives giving lotions and potions to husbands?
The right rule is the Platinum Rule, i.e., give them what THEY want. Such gifts are indeed a gift of LOVE because the giver may not “get” the value of the gift, may not “feel” the beauty of the gift, and may even think it’s a complete waste of time and money. Take a tatoo, for example. If you are one of those people who recoil with horror and the very idea of a tatoo, you are delivering a gift of profound love when you take your loved one and waltz into a tatoo parlor and shell out seven hundred dollars for a permanent intricate full-color portrayal of a bleeding vampire victim on the bare chest of this love of your life. Such is love. Such is Platinum Gifting.
I called a few of my friends and asked for wish lists for Christmas. Here’s what they listed:
My Blue friend Maria says she’ll be happy with a relaxation CD, a massage, live flowers, a seminar, books and tapes, a spiritual retreat, a massage, an original card or poem, healing aromatherapy items, theater, comedy, or concert tickets, a Vegan dinner and night out, an exotic dictionary, or gifts for her kids and her favorite charities.
My Gold friend Janet wants a gold pendant, pearl earrings, a dress for a formal dinner, scrapbooking supplies, an elegant picture frame, Sees candy, a new energy-saving refrigerator, silverware nice enough to bequeath to a daughter, a gift certificate to Macy’s, software for electronic planning, a Julia Child cookbook, a deluxe Scrabble set, and membership in a California wine club.
My Orange wife Rose likes fun, surprises, and stuff for the family. On her list would be a spontaneous trip to Flagstaff or any beach city in the world, a spectacular bouquet of flowers, a return to Europe, tickets to a concert or major finals event in sports, tickets for all grandchildren to accompany her to museums and zoos and parks and theme parks, a really fun party with family and friends, an elegant dinner, sexy art for the house, state-of-the-art kitchen appliances,and — oh yes, a fully remodeled kitchen.
Green friends are hard to shop for, but I think I know just what George would like. First of all, this guy loves techie gadgets. He’d be happy with an upgrade to a Blackberry phone, a Kindle from Amazon.com, a GPS attached to anything that moves, a universal remote that worked the TV, refrigerator, garage door, and lighting system throughout the house. Ironically, his “geeky” hobbies are about as non-techie as you could imagine. He plays a ukulele, roots for an obscure softball team, remodels Nashes, and is a collector of home-made crystal radio sets. It takes great research to come up with “new” gifts to feed into the hobbies, but the search is always worth it. You should have seen his face when he got an original gear-shift head from a 1949 Nash.
Happy shopping, people!!! Even though you might now share a love of the gift, you will FEEL and ENJOY the love of your giftee!!
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Hi, Jack!
Which do you think is a better indicator of personality, how you give or how you get? (Or is that very question the real clue?!)
The last few gifts I’ve requested when asked: a Kindle from Amazon and a Magic Mouse from Apple. The next one will be an entertainment center to protect my big-screen TV from my rambunctious cat. When I give, I think I’m pure Blue - sentimental presents that allude to long-ago conversations, spiritual books, etc.
Boy, my “give and take” matches yours, Barbara. Blue me gives the sentimental, very personal and personalized stuff. My orange wife gives me gadgets constantly — probably because I use them and really show appreciation, (and usually won’t buy them for myself). Hmm.
If I tried to generalize, I’d say your typical Blue person will most appreciate a gift that a lot of thought went into — especially thought that says the person is appreciated and the relationship enhanced. On the other hand, a Blue may most quickly sense insincerity from the wrong gift. Your thoughts?